e Proficiency Sample Paper 2 9t68

CONTENTS Paper 2 Writing

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Task Types in Paper 2 Assessment Sample Paper

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General Description

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Task Specific Mark Schemes

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Sample Scripts with Examiner Comments

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PA P E R 2 W R I T I N G Answering

General Description

Candidates write their answers in a question booklet.

Paper Format The paper contains two parts.

Timing 2 hours.

Number of Tasks Candidates are required to carry out two tasks; a compulsory one in Part 1 and one from a choice of four in Part 2.

Marks Each question in the paper carries equal marks.

Task Types From the following: an article, a proposal, a report, a review, an essay, a letter.

Part

1

Task Type and Focus

Number of tasks and length

Task Format

Candidates are expected to write within the following formats:

One compulsory task

A contextualised writing task giving candidates guidance to the context through

• • • •

an article an essay a letter a proposal

300–350 words

instructions and one short text which may be ed by visual prompts.

Discursive – presenting and developing arguments, expressing and ing opinions, evaluating ideas etc. 2

Candidates are expected to write within the following formats for questions 2 to 4: • • • • •

an article a letter a proposal a review a report

Candidates are expected to write within the following formats for question 5: • • • • •

an article an essay a letter a review a report

Describing, persuading, narrating, evaluating, making recommendations, giving information, summarising etc.

Four questions from which candidates choose one. One of the choice includes a question on each of three set texts. 300–350 words

A contextualised writing task specified in no more than 70 words.

TA S K T Y P E S I N PA P E R 2 The following are brief definitions of the task types which candidates are expected to be able to produce for Paper 2.

with clear sections. Candidates may wish to use appropriate section headings, as used in authentic proposals.

Article

Review

Candidates are asked to produce a piece of writing on a particular topic or theme in a style which would make it suitable for publication in a newspaper, magazine, journal or newsletter. They are given a prompt which they then use to perform the task. The target audience is indicated, as this influences the appropriacy of the and tone of the article, for example, how lively or how academic it should be. An article will often include some description and narrative, as both serve to engage the reader. An article will usually be motivated by a central idea which provides a point or purpose to the writing or reading of the article.

A review may be about a book, film or play, but it may also be about a restaurant, hotel, etc. The readership is clearly specified in the task outline so that candidates write in an appropriate . In addition to providing some information on, for example, plot and characters, candidates should indicate some judgement on the subject of the review. The review may embody narrative, as well as descriptive and evaluative language, and a range of vocabulary relating, for example, to literature and the media such as cinema or TV.

ASSESSMENT Essay Candidates are expected to use the prompt material to produce a composition on a relevant topic. The essay should be complete in itself containing an introduction, body and conclusion and be united by a central idea which provides a point and purpose to the writing and reading of the essay. Letter At E-level, formal letters are the most suitable. An example is a letter to a newspaper giving an opinion and making a point, stimulated by the input given and further developed with the candidate’s own ideas. The letter may include narrative sections to illustrate a point and interest the reader. A letter in Part 2 could have a narrative focus, for example, a letter of complaint about an event which has not lived up to the candidate’s expectations.

An impression mark is awarded to each piece of writing using the general mark scheme on the following page. All tasks carry the same maximum mark. The general impression mark scheme is used in conjunction with a task-specific mark scheme, which focuses on criteria specific to each task. For examples of task-specific mark schemes, see pages 30-32. Marking Each piece of writing is assigned to a band between 0 and 5, as described on the following page, and can be awarded one of three performance levels within that band. For example, in Band 4, 4.1 represents weaker performance within Band 4; 4.2 represents typical performance within Band 4; 4.3 represents strong performance within Band 4. ‘Acceptable’ performance at E level is represented by a band of 3.

Report Candidates are given an appropriate prompt, in response to which they then have to produce a report for a specified audience, which could be a superior, e.g. a boss at work, or a peer group, e.g. colleagues. A report involves the presentation and interpretation in well-organised prose of information in relation to a specified context; this is drawn from the prompt material and from the candidates’ own ideas. Candidates may wish to use appropriate section headings, as used in authentic reports. Narrative tenses will be used in the report. Proposal A proposal has a similar format to the report. Whereas the report is an of something which has happened, the focus of the proposal is on the future, with the main focus being on making recommendations for discussion. An example of a proposal would be a bid for funds for a project (described in the task), and would entail outlining the way the funds would be spent, the benefits which would accrue, and the way progress would be monitored and evaluated if the bid were to be successful. Proposals should be well structured

Length 300 to 350 words are asked for. Candidates producing very short scripts will be penalised. Spelling and Punctuation These are important aspects of accuracy and must be taken into . American spelling and usage is acceptable. Paragraphing This is a function of organisation and format. The taskspecific mark scheme will give an indication to examiners of what is expected. Handwriting If handwriting interferes with communication without preventing it, the candidate will be penalised. Totally illegible scripts receive 0. Please note that the following general mark scheme is a draft version only.

Draft General Mark Scheme This mark scheme is interpreted at E level and is used in conjunction with a task specific mark scheme for each question.

5

4

3

2

1

0

Outstanding realisation of the task set: • Sophisticated use of an extensive range of vocabulary, collocation and expression, entirely appropriate to the task set • Effective use of stylistic devices; and format wholly appropriate • Impressive use of a wide range of structures • Skilfully organised and coherent • Excellent development of topic • Virtually error-free Impresses the reader and has a very positive effect. Good realisation of the task set: • Fluent and natural use of a wide range of vocabulary, collocation and expression, successfully meeting the requirements of the task set • Good use of stylistic devices; and format wholly appropriate • Competent use of a wide range of structures • Well organised and coherent • Good and ambitious development of topic • Minor and unobtrusive errors, arising from attempts at complex language Has a positive effect on the reader. Satisfactory realisation of the task set: • Reasonably fluent and natural use of a range of vocabulary and expression, adequate to the task set • Evidence of stylistic devices; and format generally appropriate • Adequate range of structures • Clearly organised and generally coherent • Adequate, though unambitious, coverage of topic • Occasional non-impeding errors Achieves the desired effect on the reader. Inadequate attempt at the task set: • Limited and/or inaccurate range of vocabulary and expression • Little evidence of stylistic devices; some attempt at and format • Inadequate range of structures • Some attempt at organisation, but lacks coherence • Inadequate development of topic • A number of errors, which sometimes impede communication Has a negative effect on the reader. Poor attempt at the task set: • Severely limited and inaccurate range of vocabulary and expression • No evidence of stylistic devices; little or no attempt at and format • Lack of structural range • Poorly organised, leading to incoherence • Little relevance to topic, and/or too short • Numerous errors, which distract and often impede communication Has a very negative effect on the reader. Negligible or no attempt at the task set: • Totally incomprehensible due to serious error • Totally irrelevant • Insufficient language to assess (fewer than 20% of the required number of words) • Totally illegible A maximum of 3 points can be awarded within each of Bands 1–5.

TA S K S P E C I F I C M A R K S C H E M E S

QUESTION 1 Content

Appropriacy of and Format

Major points: Letter should cover the points raised in the newspaper article, i.e. that national and cultural identity is being lost and that countries are becoming more and more alike. Candidates should address the question at the end of the input.

Formal letter, with appropriate , bearing in mind the writer’s role as the reader of a newspaper writing in to give his/her opinion(s).

Further points: Candidates could expand on the nature of national and cultural identity and whether it is, in fact, desirable to maintain one’s own national and cultural identity. Additional ideas of the candidate’s own.

Formal letter format, with early reference to why the person is writing. Clear organisation of points and adequate paragraphing.

Organisation and Cohesion

Target Reader Range

Would understand the writer’s point of view.

Language for expressing and ing opinions and making recommendations. Candidates may also attack the argument in the article or defend it depending on the point of view they hold.

QUESTION 2 Content

Organisation and Cohesion

Proposal should include:

The proposal should be well structured with clear sections. Ideas should be presented in well organised prose, with appropriate paragraphing and linking.

how to attract more visitors to your town or area how to improve the amenities how to increase income from tourism

Target Reader Range Language of describing, analysing, making recommendations and perhaps hypothesising.

Appropriacy of and Format Proposal format, possibly with clear section headings. appropriate to the business relationship between the employee/researcher and the manager who has commissioned the proposal.

Would understand what the writer is proposing.

QUESTION 3 Content

Organisation and Cohesion

Review should inform the reader about the film and evaluate the film version of the novel. It should also discuss the problems of making films based on books.

Clear development with appropriate paragraphing and linking of content. There should be evidence of cohesion in moving from the specific review to the general question of problems of making films based on books.

Range Language of narration, description and evaluation. Vocabulary connected with films and literature.

Appropriacy of and Format

Target Reader Would be informed about the film and be able to decide whether they would be interested in seeing it or not. Would also be informed about the problems of making films based on books.

should be appropriate for a review in a media arts magazine. It could range from formal to informal depending on the nature of the publication, but must be consistent throughout.

QUESTION 4 Content

Organisation and Cohesion

Article should describe a memorable and enjoyable journey made by the candidate and give reasons for liking the means of transport used.

Clear development of description and narration with appropriate paragraphing and linking.

Target Reader Range Language of description and narration.

Would be interested in following the description of the journey and realise why it was memorable and enjoyable.

Appropriacy of and Format appropriate for monthly travel magazine, probably neutral in tone. Article format – could have paragraph headings.

QUESTION 5(A) Content

Appropriacy of and Format

Clear reference to the book chosen. Discussion of the statement and comparison of the personalities and lifestyles of Macon Leary and Muriel Pritchett with close reference to events in the book.

Composition appropriate for the target reader, the tutor.

Range Language of narration, discussion and comparison. Vocabulary may reflect that used in original book.

Organisation and Cohesion Clear presentation and development of ideas with appropriate paragraphing and linking.

Target Reader Would understand the writer’s viewpoint.

QUESTION 5(B) Content

Organisation and Cohesion

Clear reference to the book chosen. Brief summary of theme of book leading on to the emphasis on frightening nature of the book and how suspense is maintained.

Clear development from general introduction to the book to the main focus of its frightening nature and the maintenance of suspense. Clear conclusion.

Range

Target Reader

Language of description, narration and evaluation. Vocabulary may reflect that used in original book.

Would be informed about the book, know what makes it frightening and why.

Appropriacy of and Format Article with and format appropriate to a local newspaper. must be consistent throughout.

QUESTION 5(C) Content

Organisation and Cohesion

Clear reference to the book chosen. Recommendation of the novel with a clear focus on the characters of Wormold and Milly, their relationship and its importance to the novel.

Clear development of ideas with appropriate linking and paragraphing.

Target Reader Range Language of recommendation. Some language of description and narration relating to the characters in question and their relationship.

Appropriacy of and Format Formal letter.

Would know whether the novel would be suitable for the proposed exhibition.

SAMPLE SCRIPTS WITH EXAMINER COMMENTS

QUESTION 1 C A N D I DAT E A Dear Sirs, I am writing with reference to the article on the loss of national and cultural identity, published in one of your latest issues. I would like to express my disagreement regarding your opinion. I hope you will not take amiss what I am going to say. To begin with, you claimed that because of the modern amenities people all over the world become more and more alike. In other words, advances in technology and the opportunity of travelling easily and faster are responsible for the loss of national and cultural identities. I think it is dangerous to claim that it would be better if not everybody has the same facilities in order to maintain each nation unique. That would mean a vast majority of the population has to be deprived of progress to maintain its integer traditions. Furthermore, I think that the cultural exchange and the fact that communication gets more and more easy have a positive effect on the maintenance of tradition. Because the reason why people are travelling so much is the fact that they want to learn about the different countries and their cultures. Therefore, each country is interested in maintaining its traditions, or even better, they are pushing their population to saveguard national identity. To sum up, thanks to advances in technology the countries get more worried about maintaining national traditions. Moreover, you deplore that shopping malls, TV programmes and lifestyles can be found everywhere. According to that statement, certain countries should be deprived of these amenities so that they will not be influenced by another country’s tradition. Don’t you think that this course of action would lead to the isolation that some 55 years ago our ancestors tried to abolish? In my opinion, the fact of depriving somebody of something he wants will not help to maintain the country’s tradition, but will inevitably lead to a dissatisfaction that could become very dangerous. On the whole, I think that it is impossible to lead the mankind towards an ideal world where everything works as we wish, namely in a co-existance of many different traditions. It is dangerous to deprive men of things they know they could have; therefore, mankind should be given the opportunity to develop itself, no matter with or without different traditions. I am looking forward to seeing my letter published in one of the next issues of your newspaper. Yours faithfully,

EXAMINER COMMENTS Content

Appropriacy of and Format

The candidate has referred to all the major points raised in the article, and has also introduced her own ideas about the subject which do not accord with the view expressed in the question. She has produced a very clear and coherent argument to refute the points made.

Appropriately written as a formal letter, with suitable tact, e.g. I hope you will not take amiss…

Range The candidate has used a wide range of vocabulary, collocation and expression. Structures are varied and there is effective use of a rhetorical question.

Accuracy There are some lapses – infelicitous use of vocabulary, e.g. integer, ancestors; errors in spelling, e.g. saveguard; some slightly awkward expressions, e.g. to maintain each nation unique and slips in the use of articles, e.g. the mankind.

Organisation and Cohesion The letter is skilfully organised – the reason for writing is stated right at the beginning; the argument is clear and easy to follow; paragraphing is good with appropriate use of linkers and there is an effective conclusion. Target Reader This is generally a very impressive realisation of the task set. The reader is left with a clear idea of a perceptive and well argued point of view. For all these reasons this answer represents weaker performance within Band 5. Band 5

C A N D I DAT E B Dear Sir/Madam I have just read your newspaper article about the fact that we are all losing our national and cultural identities. It seems impossible to cease the process of becoming one world. Whereas since ever we have tried to keep our traditions, it is now them which become less and less important. International companies force nowadays different cultures to adapt the American way of being and behaving. It is the business world, which makes us speak the same language throughout the whole planet. The fact that economy and technology play such an important part in our life makes us forget about our own culture and traditions. Food, for example, used to be extremely important, whereas nowadays we just do not have the time for such minor matters and therefore prefer to swallow a burger or ‘hot dog’ in a fast food outlet. However, we could take more care of our own traditions by trying to cherish them. All it needs is to wake our own patriotism and to live our own lifestyle. Of course this is a difficult task, because we are likely to copy the good parts of all the other countries. But is it not our own way of dressing and behaving, as well as our sports and music that is what counts? It does not need much effort to switch on the television and copy another lifestyle. It is therefore our turn to try to maintain our traditions. On the other hand it can be said that the government of each country also plays an important part in keeping the own culture and traditions. With an annual financial aid it could, for example, be achieved that the national day is an unforgettable day. Also could the own art be ed, which might result in free art galleries. To sum up, there is nothing wrong with a good political relationship between all the countries, which results in less war, but unfortunately also in a single currency. However, it is utterly important, especially in times with multicultural countries, that we keep on our traditions. Yours faithfully

EXAMINER COMMENTS Content

Appropriacy of and Format

The candidate has referred to the major points raised in the article and responded to the final question posed. He has not expanded in any way on the nature of cultural identity, nor questioned the desirability of maintaining it. He has, however, made some sensible suggestions about how traditions can be fostered.

The answer is in the appropriate format of a formal letter, and the is consistent.

Range There is an adequate range of structure and some attempt at stylistic devices. Vocabulary is generally varied and well used.

Accuracy Longer, more complex sentences cause problems at times, e.g. But is it not… that is what counts? There are some problems with word order, e.g. International companies force nowadays different cultures to… and there is the occasional vocabulary error, e.g. the own culture. None of the errors, however, impedes communication.

Organisation and Cohesion The ideas are clearly presented and well organised in paragraphs with good use of linking devices, and there is an effective conclusion.

Target Reader This is a satisfactory realisation of the task; the treatment is adequate though unambitious. The reader is left with a clear idea of the writer’s views.

Band 3

QUESTION 2 C A N D I DAT E C In order to promote tourism in our country, I think it would be a good idea to make special documental programmes about the interesting and beautiful places we’ve got to visit in our dear country. This would let us , (because we’ve been taught about it at school) the different natural and archeological places we can visit. I guess these programmes, ought to be quite short but complete. I mean that they should show the landscapes, they should tell us something about history, people, language, traditions, money exhange, hotels in which you can stay; yes. It should offer something similar to what you can find in a tourism-guide, but instead of reading about it, you just sit and watch what our country can offer you. This way you can attract not only foreign tourists but you can also promote internal tourism in our country. The main reason because most our people haven’t even visited our main touristic places is because they can’t afford doing so, but I’m sure they’re looking forward to being able to do it someday. As a tourist office, we can make short trips including accomodation, two-way tickets and tourist guides, but we’ve got to be considered with the fee as we know people can’t afford to pay much. It would be interesting that we promote tourism in schools. Maybe giving prizes to best students. Such prizes could consist in trips, journeys to different places in the country, so they can get to visit what they’ve studied for so long time at school. We can also make contests about history among housewives, proffesionals, (for foreing people or people from our country) that would incentivate people to read about our own country. Of course the prizes would also be complete journeys to different parts of our country.

EXAMINER COMMENTS Content

Appropriacy of and Format

The candidate has failed to address all the aspects of tourism mentioned in the question. She has concentrated on the idea of attracting more visitors, but with little obvious reference to tourists from abroad, and has not dealt adequately with either the improvement of amenities or the increase in income. This is an inadequate attempt at the task.

There is no attempt to present this piece of writing as a formal proposal, no indication of who the recipient is and no clear division into sections, with or without headings. The is too informal – the writer merely presents personal opinions which do not seem to be very strongly held, e.g. I guess.

Range

Organisation and Cohesion

Some range attempted.

Although there is some paragraphing, the suggestions are not well organised.

Accuracy There is poor control of anything other than very simple structure, e.g. The main reason because most our people haven’t even….; poor expression, e.g. As a tourist office… and in some places the meaning is not entirely clear, e.g. paragraph 4.

Target Reader The reader would not be properly informed.

Band 2

QUESTION 3 C A N D I DAT E D Well have u seen the movie Romeo & Juliet – it is a story of (2) people that are extremely in love to one another. Actually when I read the book, I was fascinated w/ how the (2) people fight, cherished their love for each other. and I almost imagine the place they live at, how they dress & find time to see each other. But when I watched the movie Romeo & Juliet, I was somewhat disappointed bec. The Producer & Director tried or absolutely change the story. And the film maker tried to used & abuse, the characters by exaggeration of the story. I think mostly problems of making films based on books are –

The viewer expects the Director. producer & seap characters to do the same things that the viewers read on books (e.g. setting of house, clothes of characters even their hairstyle)

–

bec. the Producer/Director tried to revised or changed the story, even deleted impt. scenes to make it more suitable in our generation

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Another problem is that too much publicity of the film, that sometimes we the viewers expects so much from the film.

and the last problem is that making a film that is based on books is we are just creating a name & money for our own shake, bec. our goal in making a film is for profit only. Not to show the real story & provide accurate info.

EXAMINER COMMENTS Content

Appropriacy of and Format

This answer concerns a play, not a novel. The review contains little information about the film, and makes a poor attempt to evaluate it as a version of the play. There is an attempt to discuss the problems of making films based on books, but this has become little more than a list.

The is inconsistent and sometimes unsuitable – for example at the beginning – and there are several inappropriate examples of abbreviation, e.g. bec for because, impt for important.

Range Limited.

Accuracy There is a general lack of control and spelling is weak. Poor expression impedes communication, especially in the final paragraph.

Organisation and Cohesion Poor.

Target Reader The effect on the reader is very negative. Very poor handwriting made this extremely difficult to read and was taken into in the mark awarded.

Band 1

QUESTION 4 C A N D I DAT E E In our days it seems a little unusual to think that traveling by train is the best way to travel; yet, many elements might make a trip by train far more enjoyable and unforgetable than the rushed, frenetic trips that we make by air or by car. I a wonderful trip by train that we took with my husband about 8 years ago. By that time, we were living in Mozambique, a Southern African country, and, as we had heard a lot about the famous ‘Blue Train’, we decided to jump in that adventure. First, we had to go from Maputo (Mozambique’s capital), to Nelsprit, a city just at the entrance of the famous Krüger Park. When we arrived at Nelsprit railway station, we couldn’t believe our eyes; in the middle of a, let us say, wild region, there stood, elegant, spotless, imposing, a train that had been manufactured 102 years ago! Incredible, it looked so well taken care of, nobody would have imagined his age. The station itself was comfortable and quite English, even in its small details; we knew, afterwards, that it had been constructed through a t work with the ‘Boers’ (first Dutch settlers). We started on time, as the English tradition imposes, and we prepared ourselves for a trip that would take 7 days and 8 nights. Our booth was perfect, I still its Victorian decoration; the restaurant coach seemed an English club: everybody very well dressed, listening to music, smoking, etc. We headed Southwards and we crossed five Provinces; in each capital city we got off to enjoy typical food and music. There was a guide who told endless stories of local flavour, although some of them seemed vivid legends to us. The final stop was at Cape Town station, we were lucky to spend two days there. Shopping at Cape Town is breathtaking! and the sea looked to me as blue as the train itself. After feeling the sensations of that wonderful trip, I sometimes stop to think about the advantages of a train trip. There is, of course, the urge for time; this is undeniable, but on the other hand, a trip like this one we took, offers the engers elements not to be found in other type of trips: I how deeply we could enjoy nature, we could even smell the daffodils when crossing the meadows! Could we smell daffodils from a plane? Yes, I think that for the purpose of enjoying nature and better relaxing the best way to travel is by train.

EXAMINER COMMENTS Content

Appropriacy of and Format

The candidate has written a good description of a train journey which makes it clear why the trip was both memorable and enjoyable. The journey is set in context and there is a description of people and places. This is a good realisation of the task.

The is appropriate – neutral in tone but making the writer’s feelings clear.

Range The language is fluent and natural, a range of structures is used competently and the vocabulary is varied and generally appropriate.

Accuracy There are some errors, but these are unobtrusive – awkward expression, e.g. in our days, decided to jump in that adventure and some slightly inaccurate use of vocabulary, e.g. as the English tradition imposes, booth.

Organisation and Cohesion In the final paragraph, which is an effective conclusion, there is a comparison with other forms of transport which neatly echoes the introduction. The article is well organised with competent use of paragraphing.

Target Reader This piece of writing has a positive effect on the reader.

Band 4

QUESTION 5(B) C A N D I DAT E F Have you ever thought about the end of the world? John Wyndham’s ‘The Day of the Triffids’ shows us a civilisation on the brink of a collapse. Bill Masen, the main character, wakes up in a hospital, the day before his bandages – he was hurt by a triffid attack – are to come off. The first relationship between Bill and those man-made but totally alien creatures started with Bill’s job. He used to cultivate their valuable oils. Because of the bandages, Masen missed the most spectacular and devastating meteor show seen in years. A post-war London is witnessing the end of the civilisation as we know it. With an accurate style and a rich vocabulary, Wyndham takes us into a world where almost everyone is blind because of that incredible show. Only a few, according to the say ‘in the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is king’, are of the monarchy. But problems arise constantly. Intelligent plants, that can kill with a single slashing sting, are threatening human existence. Darkness, scarcity of food and a general panic are some of the main features of the new order. A subtle description of the triffids, investigated by Bill and one of his already dead friends – whose recommendations he always keeps in mind – sets the following desperate scenes. Women, children, almost no one escapes to the poisoned sting. The author describes a sense of doom and claustrophobia that enables him not to use typical violent and bloody descriptions. The absence of clear and monotone sounds, such as the sound of a traffic jam, is only broken by some inconsolable voices. Bill risks life and limb, acting as a member of the ‘rescue services’, and has more than a narrow escape during his task. However, some might think that the alien affair is kept in the background; they might state that the description of a new society is in the foreground. Suspense is maintained by a series of facts linked not only with the struggle against aliens, but also against oneself. In fact, this book highlights loneliness as another dimension of fear. For example, we will never know if Bill falls in love with Josella, only because of his loneliness. Sometimes being on our own can be even more frightening than the sting of a triffid.

EXAMINER COMMENTS Content

Appropriacy of and Format

The candidate obviously has good knowledge of the text and makes detailed reference to events and characters.

Appropriate.

Organisation and Cohesion Range The language shows a fluent and natural use of a range of structures, and there is a wide range of vocabulary.

Accuracy Although vocabulary is generally used very effectively, there are some examples of misuse, e.g. according to the say and clear and monotone sounds. There are some awkward expressions, e.g. of the monarchy, more than a narrow escape and one of his already dead friends.

The answer is well organised and paragraphed.

Target Reader The reader would gain some information about the book, but a clear focus on the frightening aspect of events is lacking.

Band 3

QUESTION 5(C) C A N D I DAT E G Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to recommend ‘Our Man in Havana’ as a possible book to appear in your exhibition on fathers and daughters in literature. It cannot be denied that daughters have a tendency to twist their fathers around their little fingers. I am convinced that most daughters are fully aware of this power they posess and do not hesitate to take an advantage of it now and then. Wormold, in Graham Greene’s ‘Our Man in Havana’, is an excellent example of a father who has an extreme weakness for his daughter; ‘He became a coward when he watched her, he hated to oppose her in anything.’ According to his wife’s wish, Wormold has brought up Milly in the catholic belief. The fact that he is unable to follow her into this world sometimes makes him feel like a stranger to his own child: Wormold himself expresses criticism against catholicism but under no circumstances would he want to cause Milly to start denying the existence of God. As a result, she always tend to get what she prayed for. Being a vacuum-cleaner salesman however, does not equal earning a fortune. Since Milly has an expensive taste he finally decides to take the offer of becoming a secret agent, MI6’s man in Havana. In order to keep his job; he has to send reports to London. The only hitch is that his reports are all made up. The consequences turn out to be fatal. To cheat your country might seem to be a terrible thing to do but when considering his motive the picture slightly change. The fact that none of the incidents would have occured if it was not for Milly adds a comic aspect to the book. In fact, Wormold is not working for the sake of his country but his daughter. The world has not left much for him to believe in but through the whole book he is loyal to her. What really matters in life are the people who are close to you; ‘Would the world be in this mess it is if we were loyal to love and not to countries?’ Maybe not, but it seems to me that there is a need for a balance. Fathers may be weak for their daughters. However, ‘Our Man in Havana’ is an excellent example that things might turn out to be a mess if you are too loyal to someone. I consider this to be an interesting aspect and therefore recommend the book for your exhibition on fathers and daughters in literature. If you have any further questions do not hesitate to me. Yours faithfully

EXAMINER COMMENTS Content

Appropriacy of and Format

The reason for writing is stated at the beginning. The two characters are described briefly and there is an interpretative discussion of their relationship and its effects on the development of the plot. The writer adds her own views on loyalty to those expressed by the characters. This is generally a very good realisation of the task.

The letter is written in an appropriate style.

Range

Target Reader

There is a variety of structures and a very good range of expressions and examples of collocation.

The reader would be well informed about the appropriacy of the book for the exhibition.

Accuracy

Band 5

The language is virtually error-free. There is the odd slip, e.g. the picture slightly change, she always tend to get; a spelling error, posess; awkward word order, e.g. brought up Millie and collocation which is not quite right, e.g. Millie has an expensive taste.

Organisation and Cohesion The body of the letter is well paragraphed and there is a clear introduction and conclusion.